The Feeling of Being Watched and Judged

You might find yourself feeling watched or judged, even when you’re completely alone. It can show up as a sense of needing to behave properly, not saying the wrong thing, or feeling uneasy when you relax or let your guard down. Sometimes it’s a vague discomfort; at other times it feels like a critical voice inside, noticing your thoughts, choices, or mistakes.

For many people, this experience isn’t about being observed by others in the present, but about something internal that feels alert, evaluative, or disapproving. You may recognise it as self-criticism, guilt, shame, or a pressure to meet certain standards, even when no one else is asking this of you.

From a psychodynamic perspective, this internal “watching” often develops very early in life. As children, we learn what is acceptable, expected, praised, or disapproved of by the people and environments around us. Over time, these external expectations don’t just stay outside us, they become internalised. We begin to monitor ourselves from the inside.

This internal presence is sometimes described as a kind of inner authority. It can guide us, help us fit into the world, and support our sense of right and wrong. But when it becomes harsh, rigid, or unforgiving, it can start to feel oppressive rather than protective. Instead of offering guidance, it can feel like constant surveillance.

You might notice this as a fear of being “found out,” a tendency to judge yourself before anyone else can, or a sense that you’re never quite doing enough. Even your thoughts can feel scrutinised, as though there are parts of you that aren’t allowed to exist without punishment or correction.

These experiences often have little to do with your current life and much more to do with earlier relationships and environments. If, growing up, there was limited space for emotional expression, mistakes, or difference, you may have learned to watch yourself closely in order to stay safe or accepted. What once helped you adapt can later turn into an exhausting way of living.

Living with this constant internal monitoring can affect emotional wellbeing. It may contribute to anxiety, perfectionism, or low self-esteem. You might feel tense or on edge without fully understanding why, or find it hard to rest, enjoy yourself, or feel at ease in relationships.

In therapy, this inner “watcher” isn’t treated as something to get rid of, but as something to understand. Together, we gently explore where it came from, what purpose it once served, and how it affects you now. As awareness grows, this internal presence often softens. The critical voice can become less dominant, and there may be more room for self-compassion, flexibility, and emotional freedom.

If you recognise this feeling of being watched or judged from within, you’re not alone, and you’re not failing. It may be a sign that an old way of protecting yourself is asking to be understood rather than obeyed. Psychodynamic counselling offers a space to explore this safely and at your own pace.